The title of my blog says a lot about my writing process, "A commentary about my life." Commentary. Life. When I started this blog it was more about organizing my thoughts in a coherent fashion rather than me trying to actually, "say something" all the time. I say a lot, but I try to create meaning at the same time. We hear people speak all the time but, what do they actually say? That is what my blog has turned into. I want you, my readers to leave with thoughts, feelings, energy, or even questions. That is the start of my process. I want to encourage complex thought with my words.
The next step is to identify what is it that I want to focus on. This is one of the most complicated parts... On my calm, cool exterior that everyone sees, there is a wild road show of thoughts and feelings that I am going through every waking minute. While I write this current post, I am reflecting on what I just ate (shouldn't have ate that), I don't like that song, or that song, maybe I should put on a movie to listen to, I'm trying not to think about my work obligations, thinking about vacation destinations, and on and on it goes. This second step is to get all this down. I have about 30 topics sitting in a notes app on my devices where I add thoughts, ideas and questions that I then use to develop these posts.
I get these ideas all the time, so in order to free my mind a minuscule amount, I gotta write it down. I add and add all the time whether I am at the grocery store, laying in bed or on a run. It goes into the notes! Then I listen. I look to my surroundings and the people around me. To you, the reader! I make my decision on what to focus on, based on what is happening in our world. Other times, I make sure that I am listening to myself too. Sometimes I feel like poo and I am not in a great space mentally and I decide, I should write about it. I don't always post those writings though. Recognizing the circumstances and moments of when I need to work on things on my own versus when I can rely on my community.
Once the topic is decided I finish my thoughts. I sit at my desk, play some music or put on a movie I love and I type away. I talk it all out, here, with you and with myself. What you are reading right now, is a slightly altered conversation that have already internally had with myself. Multiple times reading over and after much editing, you get a post like this. Something that says a little bit and a lot at the same time. And a post that is easy and quick to read.
So here is my reflective message with today's post. Talk to yourself. Some people may look at you funny. They might think you are a little crazy because you laugh at your own jokes. But the point is to listen to your inner voice and build trust with who you are. This is one of the biggest things that I have learned about myself during this pandemic: how do I function and process? Something that I am still practicing and improving on everyday. Thank you for being here!
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