To date, I have ran 280 miles behind my mask. I understand that I do not "have" to wear a mask while exercising but it is necessary during a pandemic. What I have seen these past few months on the trails have left me confused and sometimes angry. I understand that this mask topic is starting to fall on deaf ears but I hope that these words will elicit the strength to do the right thing during these times with a little bit of comedic flavor. You know, keep this less of a rant and more of a commentary.
Every mile that I ran, was done behind a cloth mask. I mainly run at two locations: on campus where I work and al large majority have been don at Mission Trails park. But these are places that I am comfortable with and areas that I know well and respect. I think that is one of the main points there: respect. Most people do not possess the basic decency of respecting their neighbor. Most of these trails that I traverse are narrow and restrict you from being six feet away from people. Hiking mountains and running mile after mile is hard work and I don't know about you, but I breathe hard while pushing my body in this manner. And it is with respect that I wear my mask, even when I "don't have to."
There are many different types of anti-maskers that I have seen mucking about in the wilds of sunny San Diego. This next portion is going to highlight some of the ridiculousness that I have seen from people (all this is in good fun and only partially serious).
The Hiker: This person is super hardcore. For this person, it's all about the gear as they have hiking poles, backpacks, and hiking boots. But the one thing missing, a mask. After going through their whole checklist, the mask didn't make the cut, even with the 20 lb backpack and extra pockets in their cargo pants.
The Glamorous: This isn't exclusively targeting the women but this category mostly applies to them. Why? They did their make up and a mask would ruin the look! They just got their new leggings and shoes and they have to break the new gear in! And let's not forget the real purpose of why they are out there, for selfies to post! Duh
The Chit-Chatters: OMG guess what happened to Sally?! Who TF cares?? Shut up and listen to the birds! You have no idea how many people have so much to talk about with their friend that they shouldn't be in close contact with while ignoring social distancing and not wearing masks...
The Hardcore Exerciser: Think about a person that you may know who tries way too hard even though they clearly work out. Well, this person grunts too hard and leaves their mask in the car because they "literally" can't breath and exercise at the same time. At least they run too fast to be in close contact with anyone for more than a few seconds.
The Frantic: Ok so this person a little different from the others. They didn't really think that they would come in contact with so many people and they probably have better intentions than most. These people are the ones that uncover their face the moment no one is around but frantically tries to cover their face when they see you coming. I mean you tried... right?
The "Holder": It isn't very useful if it's Not on your FACE. Why even carry it if you aren't even going to try unlike The Frantics?
The Field Trippers: These are the ones that go places with their entire family, all 17 members I wish I was exaggerating on this too. I do really question peoples lifestyles that much but 9 kids under the age of 14, mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, two aunties, an uncle and a random friend is way too much. No one has a mask but at least they have matching hats or vests!
The Rowdy Ones: These are the families very similar to the Field trippers but with the rowdy kids. The Field Trippers were at least calm but the Rowdy Ones are borderline psycho. I saw a group one time, it was two or maybe three families combined and about 20 people total, a little boy stopped picked something up off the ground and put it in his mouth then spit it right out. Could have been a rock, a piece of dog shit, who knows? None of the 7 or 8 adults were paying any attention to all the kids going wild as if they have never been outside in their life. To be fair, they probably haven't.
The Slightly Racist: There has to be at least one. They probably don't really know or think that what they are doing is racists but hey, maybe they do. I have been running, minding my own business, and there are several groups of people ahead which means, mask up. The people in front of me, going the same direction, are The Frantics and putting on their masks as they see people coming toward them. Those people, do not do the same even though they have their masks in hand or on their chin until they see me. Running while brown and with a mask, probably has the Rona. Before the New Year, this would happen almost every day. And a majority of these folks were older, so you can probably make all kinds of assumptions about them.
Now this is a portion about the men specifically. What the hell is wrong with some of y'all?
There are some special categories specific to men that I want to go over.
The Macho Man: this is the one that looks like they clearly work out but are just frankly too tough for anything. They sometimes have a military shirt to rep their life choices and a backpack full of weights. Too tough for sleeves, too tough to wear a little piece of cloth over their mouth. After all, it would take away from you checking out their sweet biceps or washboard abs.
The Sweaty: Small difference from The Macho Man, this guy is the shirtless one that you see. You are never sure if it because of the fact that they might sweat too much or that they are trying to show off the fact that they work out with breakfast, lunch and dinner. To accompany the absence of a shirt, this guy is usually in shorts that way too small and of course, does not wear a mask.
The Family Man: This one is extra special in my books. A whole new level of what the actual f*ck. This man is accompanied by his wife and kids, all who are wearing masks while he lets his face and germs fly free. This is the guy that lives by the phrase, "Do as I say, not as I do."
The Mouth Breather: This one isn't exclusive just to the guys but though my observations it is almost overwhelmingly men who do this. This is the person that you see who does not cover their nose. I don't know what the mentality behind it is specifically but it may be the belief that if you only breathe IN through your nose and OUT through your mouth, that this is acceptable and safe from infection? It does not make sense to me, because that is not how this works but, that is the only thing I could think of to possibly justify this strange breed of human.
The Beard: I have seen two guys with beards wearing a mask and I am pretty sure it might have been the same guy both times. I highly doubt that your ability to grow an extremely large beard will prevent you from getting the virus. Especially not knowing how much food and other stuff is lingering in between that follicle forest on your face. And if you mask doesn't fit over your beard, just stay home? I would say to shave it but you would probably yell, "My body, my choice."
Ok, so obviously some of this was a little more serious but I thought it was important to try to highlight some of what I have seen. Now that the vaccine is rolling out, people are going to be letting their guard down but the simple task of wearing a mask will be around for a while longer. It is one of the ways we are going to get through this so just do it. No on likes it. I like it sometimes like when its cold, it keeps my face warm and I can hide my looks of disgust when I see people cough without covering their face. Also, you remember to brush your teeth more because you don't want smell your own breath and if you want, you can do something that I do as well. I put a crushed sage leaf or two in my mask before a run and it so relaxing. You can add a drop of essential oil of your choice on the inside to like lavender. Stay safe, be respectful (wear your you-know-what) and let's survive the rest of this madness.
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